Dear Mama: An Open Letter Apology

In second grade my teacher assigned our class a book writing assignment. Each student wrote their own book and illustrated it themselves. Like a good author, I made sure to dedicate my book to someone. Instead of my mother –who I’d later learn I would gain my desire to write from– I dedicated it to my teacher.

There was nothing malicious about what I did, but still the apparent hurt was there when she read the words “Dedicated to Mrs. Graves” where she assumingely felt hers would lie. I always saw my teacher, so I felt that was the obvious thing to do.

I was wrong.

There was something about parenting that  my young mind couldn’t understand. All I knew as that my mother was always working. When I say always, I really mean ALWAYS. Even to this day she’s working tirelessly.

She’s Dedicated.

Selflessly she did her best to make sure I was straight. Once in her care, I can’t really recall a time I lacked for any tangible possessions.

What I did lack, was quality time. In it’s absence, I understand the bittersweet truth of our reality. I understand that you did your best to provide for me. I understand that as a young parent, you were still growing while parenting. (I can’t imagine being a parent in my early 20’s!!) I get it. Though it was tough, and emotionally trying between us, I get it. I want you to know I am forever indebted to you, naturally.

So, I’d like to take this time to let you know the following:

  • I admire your kindness, and your ability to always see the “potential” in things
  • Thank you for teaching me to see animals in the clouds
  • Thank you for allowing me to be outspoken
  • Thank you for growing with me
  • Thank you for always asking how my day was and what I ate at school
  • Thank you for admitting your wrongs
  • Thank you for persevering through parenthood

And in the act of appreciation,  I ask for forgiveness for every time I was inconsiderate. For every time I was ungrateful, and unpleasantly disrespectful.

And I’ll admit it took me hating you to appreciate you. Even though you’ve always told me “don’t be like me, be better than me” I want you to know I will try my best, to be like you when I’m a parent. I will work to be selfless as you often are, because a mother’s work is never done.

It takes a village to raise a child. So while I thank my mother, I also want to thank my village who helped support her as well. If you can relate to this, take a moment to thank your single parent. You don’t have to wait until the honorary Spring holidays.

Peace and Love.

I love you, always.

 

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